How to get full custody for the mother

The separation or divorce of a couple is a complicated legal and emotional situation. Especially if the couple has had children and they are still minors. In fact, it is not uncommon for custody disputes to arise. Therefore, we would like to focus here on maternal custody, i.e. custody that is enjoyed exclusively by the mother of the children.

What is meant by sole custody of the mother?

In legal terms, custody refers to the rights and responsibilities that parents have over the care of their children. This refers not only to the children's place of residence, but also to their educational, medical or any other needs that may arise.

Obviously, when we talk about sole custody for the mother, we refer to the situation whereby the mother assumes full custody of the children, leaving the father in the background. In this sense, he will have to pay maintenance and assume 50% of any other necessary expenses that the child may need, but he will not live with the child. He will also have the right to maintain contact with the child through a visiting arrangement.

Full custody for the mother in the current panorama

It is true that, according to INE statistics, the number of separations or divorces that end in shared custody has grown notably in recent years. So much so that, at present, it is almost on a par with single-parent or sole custody for the mother, which has always been the majority option. 2023 was the first year in which the “overtaking” took place.

But how do I get full custody of my child if I am the mother?

Faced with the situation we have just described, many mothers wonder what they need to do to obtain single-parent custody of their children. Generally speaking, we can say that there are two main ways:

• Mutual agreement: this is the simplest scenario. Once the couple decides to separate or divorce, both parties agree that the mother will be the one to take custody of the children, which must be signed in the regulatory agreement. Unless the Public Prosecutor's Office advises against it due to any inconvenience, it will be approved and will come into force.
• Judicial sentence: in the case of a contentious divorce with children, it will be a judge who will decide what custody regime is established. This is the most complex option, as you will have to prove that you are the right one and that the father is not in a position to take care of the child. You will also have to convince the judge that joint custody is not a viable option.

Contentious divorce: requirements to obtain full custody for the mother

Since in a divorce by mutual consent everything depends on the will of the parents, we are going to focus on explaining what judges base their decisions on to determine the custody regime for the children and what they look at most when awarding the single-parent regime to the mother.

The age of the children

This is probably the most important issue when awarding custody in favour of the mother or opting for another regime. The reason? If the child is an infant, the judge may consider that it is not advisable to break the bond with the mother. However, from the age of 3, this need will normally disappear and, if there is nothing to prevent it, a shared custody regime will be established.

The relationship between the parents

If you have a very bad relationship with your partner, the judge may not consider joint custody to be appropriate, as this could be problematic for the welfare of the child. Especially if the bad relationship is due to the father's behaviour and not so much to the mother's behaviour.

Time obligations

Judges give priority to parents spending time with their children, especially when they are young. In this sense, if the mother is on leave, does not work or works part-time, she can choose to have sole custody of the children. The same applies if she has a job with very flexible hours and the father does not.

The place of residence

Another aspect that judges often consider is the impact that separation or divorce has on the children's routine. If the father works far away from the habitual residence, he is also likely to award single-parent custody to the mother so that the child's daily life is not affected.

What do the children prefer?

It is only obligatory to listen to the children if they have reached the age of 12. In that case, they will have a say as to which parent they prefer to live with, or whether they want to live with both parents. This is also possible if the child is younger, but only if he or she is sufficiently mature.

Other aspects to consider

In addition to the above, there are other factors that may lead to custody being awarded exclusively to the mother. We are talking, for example, about problems of alcoholism or drug addiction of the father. Also, if he was not taking care of the child until the divorce took place.

Another important issue is the couple's family environment. Especially if both of them have problems of availability due to work. If the mother proves that she has family members who can take care of the child and the father cannot, the balance may be tipped in her favour.

Sole custody: conclusions

It is true that, nowadays, most judges prioritise joint custody over single-parent custody, as they tend to consider that spending as much time as possible with both parents is the best decision for the children.

However, mothers are still much more likely to get full custody of their children in the event of separation or divorce than fathers, so getting full custody is not a pipe dream.

However, if you cannot reach an agreement with your partner, it is best to contact a divorce lawyer. He or she will advise you and guide you through the whole process so that you can achieve your goal.